when I was a kid my best friend was from this super conservative christian family who didn’t let her listen to anything but gospel music and she wasn’t allowed to watch PG movies until she was 13 but now she’s a polyamorous bisexual atheist who follows her favorite bands around on tour all the time so I guess it all worked out
(via thesuddenlove)
(via lezbelesbians)
(Source: girls-and-girls, via lezbelesbians)
My loves bought me flowers..
Just because.
They’ve been planning to get me these for about a month. I have never been so extremely happy to be surprised in my whole life.
I love them both, and they love me with all of their beings.
But sometimes it just breaks my heart.
Joey’s leaving to see May soon. I want more than anything to be there among them. I want to be curled in their laps, nuzzling into their chests, kissing their cheeks and holding them close.
Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath, and mind myself. Remember patience. Remember that things like this, especially long distance relationships take time. And money.
Time and money are my enemies right now. They’re some of the most powerful foes I’ve yet to face. But I can, and I WILL win.
if you can love multiple people at once, you can also be heartbroken about multiple people at once
It’s happened to me too. Not pretty.
In case some of you were confused, polyamory is not all sunshine and rainbows and orgies all the time.
The heartache is worth it to me, though. A thousand times over. I had my heart broken twice in one week, but that also means I had two people I cared for so much that my heart broke for both of them. It really was beautiful, despite being one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with. It proved to me that I was so open to love, and that trumps the risk of heartache any day.
So, imagine you have the coolest thing ever.
A magical bag that holds an infinite amount of cookies.
And you want nothing more than to share the contents of this bag with lots of people that you like.
And then when you go to offer it to someone they’re like “Wah…didn’t you just share your cookies with Jim?”
And you’re like “Yeah, but I got all these cookies here still! And I want to share with you! There’s enough for everyone.”
And he’s like “I don’t know, I think I’d get too jealous seeing you share your cookies with everyone else.”
Even though you have an infinite amount of cookies.
You can give him all the cookies he wants, and give Jim all the cookies he wants too.
And it’s really frustrating when people don’t want your cookies, just because they want Jim’s cookies too. Or Jim to just not get any cookies. Even though Jim, Sally, and Joe can all have cookies, and there still be no less cookies in the bag.
N’mean?
Yeah exactly.
The only problem is maybe I don’t have time to come ‘round to everybody with the bag of cookies, but not that I will run out! Jim, Sally and Joe have nothing to worry about.
Or the new person’s like, “Oh, so I’m only going to get cookie crumbs” and they look sad and it just breaks your heart, and you have to be like, “NO OMG WHY WOULD I DO THAT” and explain that EVERYONE GETS COOKIES.
Also I just had a conversation with D tonight that involved the sentence “more sex equals more cookies,” so I feel like this is apt.
Haha <3
Tchy gets cookies, and Hailey gets cookies, and Lucy gets cookies, and Kaitlyn gets cookies! And possibly more people with whom I want to have cookies, if they are willing! Hee. ^^
I love this explanation, but damn it now I want cookies.
What poly person hasn’t been called greedy, or “just another sort of cheater” at least once? I know I personally have been told I’ll never find “real love”. Its sort of the way it goes, and there is this way people see polyamory, right?
At least once a week, whether its by friends, coworkers, or even acquaintances, I get asked the same questions about polyamory that I have been asked a hundred times. Some of the questions make me want to roll my eyes because they come off as slightly offensive or maybe they are easily looked up. There are questions poly people are commonly asked.
No matter how many times I hear them though, I really try to treat every question as if it is the first time I’m being asked it. Because I am being asked it for the first time, by this person. Polyamory is coming much more into the public eye recently, even showing up in presidential campaigns (as something the world needs to protect ourselves against, of course).
People choose to be polyamorous or monogamous for their own reasons, and a lot of poly people choose not to reveal that aspect of their lives at all. It can be just too dangerous. Sometimes they get angry and defensive that they even have to answer some of the questions being asked, like, “are you sure your partner’s partners are okay with your relationship?”
I’m not saying poly people have a responsibility to educate others about their lifestyles. However, as far as openly poly people go, the more time taken to answer questions from those who have never heard of our lifestyle, the less influence the media’s portrayal of polyamory has. They may be the first polyamorous person that the question asker has ever met. The fact that a question is being asked means they want to hear things firsthand from you, rather than believing everything they’ve already heard blindly.
Whether we like it or not, if we are the polyamorous person somebody comes to, we represent all polyamorous people. If we don’t have or feel comfortable giving an answer to a question, then we should at least be able to point them into the direction of some starter texts or, better yet, other poly people who are more open about things like that. What we can’t do is make them feel silly for asking the questions because then they will go back to their stereotypes. The question they ask can be less important than the way we answer it.
So, I say to the poly people out there who feel safe enough to be open about their lifestyles, please remember why it is important to take time to answer questions, or be able to point people in the direction of somebody/somewhere that can. After all, we can only create allies through education.
Casually reblogging myself.
(Source: polyintheprairies, via theviolentflame)
(via alexander-sanguinarius)
We’re busting the myths about polyamory today on the Feronia Project. (via myplannedparenthood)
Could be worth a gander.
(via theviolentflame)
(via theviolentflame)
“Are you two serious yet?”
“Open relationship? Oh, so you’re not serious then”
How often does the word ‘serious’ get misused in discussions about relationships, particularly non-monogamous ones? I think there are two separate ways to measure the ‘seriousness’ of a relationship. I’m gonna call them ‘internal’ and ‘external’:Internal
Personal: how strongly do you feel about one other? How well do you know each another? How much do you trust one another? How much intimacy and quality time do you share? Is your relationship comfortably indefinite?
External
Structural: how many years have you been together? Do you live together? Do you have shared property? Are you engaged? Married? Is one of you financially dependent on the other? Do you have pets or children? (a.k.a. how hard would it be to separate?)
Many relationships are ‘serious’ in both ways. I mean, it helps to trust the person you share finances with, or to love the person you choose to live with. So ‘internal’ features can support ’external’ features, but they do not automatically go together. External contracts are no measure of the quality of your relationship (ask any divorced person). You can be ‘internally’ serious with someone without re-structuring your life around them, as is often proved by polyamorous people (among others).
(See also: The Relationship Escalator)
(via theviolentflame)
